


Fire on Fire

by Miraculous_daughter_of_posiedon



Series: Our Beautiful Rhythms [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual John, Break Up, Emotional neglect, Henry Laurens' A+ Parenting, Henry Laurens’ C- Parenting, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I’m posting then going tf to sleep, M/M, Multi, Past Child Abuse, Pre-Poly, Pre-Relationship, SO, Self Harm, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, and I am fucking TIRED, but he’s failing, but it is 2 am, eventually, i will edit, well he’s trying I guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:33:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28236246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miraculous_daughter_of_posiedon/pseuds/Miraculous_daughter_of_posiedon
Summary: Alex and John are made for each other but when they’re missing balance, things are bound to fall apart, even just temporarily. This isn’t going to be easy, but neither of them want to be without the other.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette, John Laurens/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette
Series: Our Beautiful Rhythms [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2068449
Kudos: 4





	Fire on Fire

John was ten when his mark showed up. Or rather his marks. The mark on his ankle was big, or at least John thought so. His mama and papa’s mark was the size of a mandarins orange, but his was the size of the big ones that he gets for Christmas every year. It showed a burning feather with gold stuff on it. John didn’t know what the gold stuff was, but his twin, Martha, thought it was apple juice. John thought that was silly, but he didn’t say so.

The second mark was on his hand. It covered most of the squishy part where his thumb met his palm and then a bit of the palm itself. It was a ship, and was surrounded with water color like splotches.

The third was his. He knew because it was on his chest, over his heart. That’s where it always was with more than two soulmates. Yours was on your heart, and the other two were somewhere else. John’s mark showed a someone’s wrist, covered with paint and fire. He and his cousins thought it looked epic, but it worried his mama.

”You should not set your wrist on fire, mijo. It is bad to hurt yourself,” she’d say, scrunching her eyebrows and tugging softly on the very tips of her hair. Martha said mama does that when she’s upset, but John doesn’t know how Martha’d know that.

“It’s ok mama! It’s just my mark and I think it looks epic,” then she’d hold his wrists very gently, and smile sadly.

”Alright mijo, as long as it is just this wrist,” she’d poke his chest, “and not these wrists,” and kiss his wrists.

John grew up, and came to realize that having multiple soulmates wasn’t normal. His father got uncomfortable at the topic. Martha only had one, and so did his parents. When his little siblings grew up, they only had one too. John wished he wasn’t so damned ashamed of his marks, but he couldn’t get over it. By the time he was in 8th grade, John only told people about the mark on his hand, mostly because it would be harder to hide.

Sophomore year his mother died. A drunk driver his her at night on her way home from a late shift at work. He was going 70 miles in hour in a 30 zone and his headlights were off. She didn’t stand a chance.

Henry Lauren’s tried his best, but some people were just not made to be single parents. John and Martha took over. She got groceries, John cooked, and their father... worked. Day and night, hour after hour, all he did was work. If John didn’t get up so early to run, he would have thought his father never slept.

College was going to be a godsend. He’d been accepted to Columbia, and Martha would be going to Rhode Island. The kids were old enough by now to take care of themselves and each other, and it’s not like he’d drop them.

Now John is sitting in his dorm room, listening to his roommate complain about her friends.

“They just never stop fighting!” Angie exclaims, flinging her arms around like an Air Dancer inflatable tube, “and the worst thing is they aren’t even really disagreeing! I mean if they met in high school they would have been pretty much opposite sides of the political spectrum, but now they have literally the exact same opinions, and different ways of communicating them!” John hums half heartedly in understanding. The shading on his drawing is just slightly off. He dabs at the page with his kneaded eraser, sharpening the lines of the hooded eyelid.

“You know what!? You should come to the party this weekend.” John’s head snaps up to look at her, and he’s already protesting when Angie continues.

“I know I know. It’s ‘not your scene” or whatever. But you never go out and this is just a small get together, y’know between friends.” The way she said it made him suspicious.

“How many people? Plus didn’t you just get done complaining about the interactions ‘between friends’?”

“Well for one thing,” she held up a finger, as if it would help convince him, “that’s just Alex and Thomas and Tom isn’t going. He has a family thing,” she then crossed her leg and held her knee to her chest,“besides,” her voice gained an exaggerated innocent tone, “I think you and Alex would get along.” John immediately groaned and set down his paper and pencils. This conversation was either going to be long, or not go very well for him.

“Angelica,” he deadpanned, “Are you trying to set me up again?”

“So what if I am?”

“Then the answers no.”

“Ok then I’m not trying to set you up,” John looked at her, throughly unimpressed, “John, getting out will be good for you. And it’s about time you met my friends. I really do believe you and Alex would like each other, even strictly platonically, though I have my suspicions it won’t end like that.”

“Loud argumentative and brash?” John flicked a finger up on every adjective, “no thanks, I left enough devils advocates behind in South Carolina. Also I met Peggy and Eliza, didn’t I?”

“My sisters don’t count. And to be fair Alex is mostly only like that if you have shitty opinions, which I know you don’t.” She gestures to her trans pride flag as well as his several protest signs and posters. “The most I’ve seen him ‘devils advocate’ is on whether or not a hot dog is a sandwich, and trivial stuff like that. And i mean, granted, that can be pretty annoying, but it’s no deal breaker.”

John worries his lips between his teeth. Truth be told he knows he ought to get out more, but social anxiety made making friends difficult and overall unpleasant. Hell, he’d spent the first week rooming with Angie awkwardly dancing around her and trying his best not to accidentally be transphobic. He eventually settled down once she had a stern sit down about whether or not her gender made him uncomfortable. He explained that, no it did not, and that he just had social anxiety and wasn’t sure how to approach the subject. They’d long since moved past that, but John took it as confirmation that he best avoid making friends to spare himself the embarrassment and confusion.

“Not to mention John, you’re not exactly unconfrontational, yourself. Hell, you got in quite the bar fight just a couple of weeks ago. You’re lucky you didn’t end up needing to go to the hospital.”

“That’s because I’m self destructive, not because I have a desire for conflict.”

“I’m pretty sure the two feed into each other.” John goes to comment on that but she moves on too quickly, “Whatever, I’m no psych student, and that’s not the point any way. The point,” she emphasizes when he starts to interrupt again, “is that you need to get out more, and you should meet my friends.” John gives a long suffering sigh.

“Ok fine.”

Angelica was at James’s flat. His parents pay for it so that James doesn’t have to live in the dorms- partly for health reasons (his immune system is crap so the forms probably wouldn’t be safe for him) and partly because they could.

Most everyone was there- apart from John, Herc, Theo, and Thomas. Thomas and Theo couldn’t come and John and Herc were both coming after work. Herc got there first and Angelica took the opportunity to make an announcement.

“Alright everyone! As I already told you, my roommate, John, is coming today so please don’t be assholes. He’s small, scared, and anxious.”

“Why’d it take so long for us to meet him?” Alex asks from his spot on the floor.

“Well for one thing, he’s got social anxiety. I told you all about our first couple week, right?” Everyone nods and Angelica continues. “We’ve obviously gotten more comfortable with each other, but I think he’s decided not to talk to anyone ever again,”

“Mood” Peggy says from the love seat. She and John had already met, and boy, had that been an ordeal. They’d taken to each other quickly, but their respective anxiety presents itself in very different and contrasting ways. Peggy became more energized and abrasive, and John either retreats into himself or punches first and asks questions later. John didn’t punch Peggy- thank god- but their first encounter was very awkward and haunts both their dreams.

“And honestly your lucky I got him to agree this time. I’d actually just finished ranting to him about Alex and Thomas, so that probably didn’t help matters,”

“Rude!” Alex scoffs and everyone ignores him.

The conversation moves on and the doorbell rings five minutes later. James, technically being the host, goes up to answer it. Angelica takes a moment to glare at everyone as a reminder to behave. The group can hear James in the entryway.

“You must be John. Come in, everyone’s in the living room but you can go into the kitchen to grab a drink before you face the music.” John utters out a quick thank you before coming in. H neglects to stop in the kitchen, figuring it would be rude- his parents raised him to be a proper southern gentleman, in some ways more than others. Besides, now he could use this as an excuse if he needs to step away for a second, or possibly executive dysfunction will leave him sitting thirsty on the couch being awkwardly grilled for information for hours before he finally gets a drink. Or he’s overthinking this and should really just go to the living room.

There’s a surprising amount of furniture for a college student, but John figures that’s none of his business.

Angie takes pity on him and speaks first.

“Hey John!” She waves, sitting on the main couch with Eliza and someone else. The guy who opened the door- John’s pretty sure this is his flat- has moved to the rocking chair. “Let me introduce you to everyone. You already know Eliza and Peggy. Maria is here with Eliza and I on the couch. The guy who let you in is James. This is his flat. The guy in the armchair is Herc. And Alex is on the floor by the couch and love seat.” Everyone waves as they’re introduced and Kohn gives a small wave in return. The silence lasts for an uncomfortable minute before Peggy calls him over to sit with her in the love seat. Everyone seems to take that as a que to return to the previous conversation. John doesn’t have the context for it and listens absentmindedly as they all talk about something about one “Aaron Burr”. He begins to space out when someone taps his knee. John starts a bit and looks over to see Alex looking at him. He scoots over to John’s side of the seat before he speaks.

“I don’t think I saw you get a drink. Come to the kitchen and I’ll show you where they are.” Alex gets up off the floor, his knees wobbling for a second. They’re probably unsteady from sitting for so long.

John follows him to the kitchen.

“Sorry for startling you, but you didn’t know what were talking about so I figured I might as well get you out of there.” Alex leaned against the counter. He nods to the various drinks spread around the counter. “You want one?” John skips the beers and other alcohol and grabs a Pepsi.

“You don’t talk much do you?” John swallows to try and summon his speech.

“On the contrary,” he meant to sound sarcastic or coy, but starts week and ends fumbling, “once you open me up I never stop.” Alex doesn’t seem to mind his awkwardness as he gives him a once over.

“Oh I’ll bet.”

Had... that been an innuendo? He’s pretty sure it was. John cleared his throat and looked away. He was burning red and dying inside, but Alex just kept talking.

“Y’know Angie warned us to be careful with you because you’re ‘small, scared, and anxious’, but you definitely don’t seem small.” He looks him over again. That... had definitely been an innuendo. He didn’t know what to say. Alex was cute, sure, and John couldn’t say for sure he wasn’t interested in him yet, but John just wasn’t like that. He didn’t know what to say. This was definitely making him uncomfortable, but he couldn’t bring himself to say so (he and his self help books were working on that). He just shook his head and looked away.

“Am I, uh, making you uncomfortable?” Alex asked, seeming genuinely concerned. “Sorry if you’re straight or something, or just not interested. I’m just, I’m really sorry.” John shook his head again and cleared his throat.

“No uh definitely not straight and I’m not not interested, but you are y’know making me uncomfortable. I’m just- I’m ace, like asexual? So... that’s not really something I like to be... insinuated? Sorry.”

“Hey no, I’m the one who needs to apologize. I shouldn’t have said that without knowing it was wanted. Totally on me.”

John gives a shallow nod, and they both sit in awkward silence for a second. John decides to reach out to him.

“Hey thanks for getting me out of there, it was pretty awkward.” The living room erupts into loud, collective laughter as someone- probably Peggy- loudly protests and complains. John can’t tell what she’s saying. The walls are fairly thick, it seems, and John can only make out the tone and the slightly muffled drone of speech.

“Of course. It was kind of rude of us to exclude you, but then again, no one really knows what to speak about with people they don’t know.”

“Yeah, I definitely get that. To be honest I’m kinda regretting coming.” Johns eyes get wide as he try’s to backtrack, “Not like that I mean. I’m just not good with strangers and I don’t know really anyone. I’m sure you’re all great people-“ Alex cuts him off with a laugh.

“Relax, John. I get it. It’s fine. It’s fine,” they sit in silence for a few more moments. It’s less awkward this time, but John’s face is burning. Alex smiles at him with a mixture of amusement and fondness- which throws John off for a second before Alex speaks again. “If it helps, Angie really wants you here. So do the rest of us, obviously. We’ve been dying to meet the mysterious roommate, and are slightly peeved that it took so long.”

“Sorry. To be honest,” John sighs and rests the back of his head on a cabinet, “ I was pretty sure Angie was just trying to be nice. Still not quite sure she isn’t if I’m being even more honest.” John takes a swig from his Pepsi and the cold feeling of it sliding down his throat is grounding. He focuses on it as the familiar cold fire feeling agitates him right beneath his skin. Alex looks at him like he can see his soul.

“Nah, you wouldn’t be invited if you weren’t wanted. Angie doesn’t give out invitations just to be polite, and she doesn’t try to be nice to assholes. The rest of us try and follow her lead on that. So yeah, if you weren’t wanted, then you wouldn’t be invited,”

“Thanks, that actually really helps,” John looks at Alex. He slightly calms down, and his heart rate slows ever so slightly. The kitchen light flickers just then, and John is struck by just how pretty Alex is. The light reflects in his hair and eyes just perfectly, and his smirk looks so perfect. Beyond being pretty, Alex just feels right, in a way John has never felt before. His heart pumps, not speeding up, but slowing down instead. John isn’t getting butterflies in his stomach- aside from the usual amount, but even that is ever so slightly reduced. John feels safe as he leans forwards. 

He isn’t quite close enough to be considered “leaning in for a kiss”, but he is close enough to give Alex the option, and convey that intention.I’m 

Alex does lean forwards and their lips connect for just seconds before the mark on John’s ankle starts tingling uncomfortably. They both jump ever so slightly and John brings up his leg to look at the mark, which is still ever so slightly tingling. He sees Alex pull his arm out of his sleeve, revealing John’s mark on his forearm, just below his wrist enough to have been hidden by his sleeve. John gasps and they look at each other.

The tingling stops.


End file.
